“Just bridge…”

“Just push them over…”

This might just be me, but the word “just” might be the most condescending word in the English language.

The word “just” sometimes implies a sense of simplicity or insignificance, which can inadvertently belittle the complexity of a situation or someone’s efforts. For instance, phrases like “It’s just a minor issue” might downplay someone’s concerns or experiences.

Its undertones can create an air of superiority or impatience, subtly diminishing the importance of the matter at hand. To foster respectful and inclusive communication, it’s important to be mindful of the potential condescending undertones associated with the word – in this instance, in the context of martial arts classes.

If accomplishing something were truly as easy as “just” doing it, there would be no need for consistent practice and dedication.

In my 25+ years of experience in martial arts, I’ve found it common for some instructors to underestimate the differences in strength, speed, power, and leverage between their male and female students. I’ve seen this even more so with men I’ve rolled and sparred with.

Some such differences can include strength, bone density, fast-twitch muscle groups, and reach, which can sometimes make it much more difficult for a female to perform as well against their male counterparts.

But this isn’t the only dichotomy; this can also be seen with taller instructors/ sparring partners underestimating the issues faced by shorter students and vice versa, or younger instructors/sparring partners with older students, etc.

When the instructor tells the group to roll or spar at “50%” (which often very few people do, except for those with experience), it’s important to remember that one person’s 50% effort can be another person’s 120% effort. Hence, the younger, stronger, or more experienced grapplers or strikers must remember to curb their efforts towards the capacity of their older, weaker, or less experienced partners.

This act of equity can ensure that both parties can enjoy the practice while still learning. Nobody enjoys the feeling of being completely crushed by their partner in practice, particularly when they are truly putting their best efforts forward – it’s defeating.

Hence, in such scenarios, when the partner or instructor asks, “Why didn’t you just armbar me?” or says, “You know you could have just bridged and rolled there…” They’re actually rubbing salt in an open wound. If knowing the correct technique was all that was needed to be competitive in martial arts as a sport, we wouldn’t have weight classes, and steroids wouldn’t be so frowned upon.

But whether you practice martial arts for sport and fitness or for self-defence, knowing how to adjust your energies for the benefit of your partners and how to communicate with them effectively, as well as how to communicate to others how to do so for the sake of your students if you’re instructors, can make the difference between a growing community within your club and disgruntled ex-students.

So, let’s retire the word “just” from our martial arts vocabulary—at least when it’s used to trivialize challenges or dismiss effort. Progress in martial arts, like in life, is rarely simple, and implying otherwise undermines the grit, growth, and respect that define the journey. Whether you’re sparring with a partner, teaching a class, or simply offering advice, choose words that build bridges, not barriers.

Because in the end, martial arts isn’t about “just” winning—it’s about lifting each other up, one roll, one spar, and one carefully chosen word at a time.