So you’ve seen more women hitting the mats lately — awesome! But you’ve probably also noticed that a lot of them don’t stick around. Why do women quit BJJ, a sport that’s supposed to be about empowerment, grit, and, well, chokeholds?
Spoiler alert: it’s not just BJJ. These challenges play out across all martial arts.
Turns out, quitting isn’t always about toughness or lack of willpower. It’s more about the environment, the culture, and yes, sometimes just how physically and psychologically demanding the sport really is. Here’s what I found, after digging into Reddit threads, surveys, and some real talk from the mats.
It’s Not “Just” Injuries or Time — But They Matter
Let’s start with the obvious. Injuries suck. Martial arts are not a Sunday stroll — they’re physical grinds, and injuries pile up like laundry after a week-long training binge. One Reddit user summed it up nicely:
“I loved training, but after several nagging injuries and a hectic work schedule, I just couldn’t keep up.”
Busy schedules and life changes—kids, jobs, and the dreaded “adult stuff”—also pull people off the mats. Women often juggle more of these responsibilities, which can mean less time and energy for training.
But injuries and time, while universal hurdles, are just the start for women.
When the Gym Culture Feels Like a Contact Sport of Its Own
This is where it gets tricky. Women report facing microaggressions, awkward (or worse) advances, and a culture that sometimes feels less like a supportive dojo and more like a boys’ club with grappling.
A user on Reddit’s r/xxfitness nailed it:
“Sometimes you feel like you’re not there to learn but to be the token girl or worse, to entertain some guys’ egos.”
Training shouldn’t feel like an audition for a reality show titled “How Much Can She Take?” But sadly, many women experience exactly that.
The Isolation Factor: When You’re the Only Woman on the Mat
Nothing like being the lone woman surrounded by twenty dudes who think “tap” is just a style of dance. It can feel like every mistake is magnified, like you’re carrying the weight of representing all women in martial arts.
One purple belt shared on a forum:
“It can feel like you’re representing all women, so every mistake or failure feels magnified.”
Isolation breeds self-doubt, and self-doubt leads to walking away.
Partnering Mismatches: When Training Partners Are More Like Giants
Martial arts training is intimate — you’re literally rolling around, tangled up with strangers. If you’re a 135-pound woman paired with a 300-pound man who looks like he bench-presses cars, it’s less “challenge” and more “survival mode.”
This can make training feel unsafe or discouraging rather than empowering. It’s not just about strength — mismatched partners can knock confidence down like a row of dominoes.
What the Numbers Say (Even If We Don’t Have All the Answers)
Women are estimated to make up about 20% of BJJ practitioners, but fewer than 1 in 10 are coaches — and even fewer are black belt head instructors. That’s a glaring gender gap — and representation matters.
A survey from the Women in Sport Institute highlighted how body image and puberty-related issues cause many girls and women to drop out of sports early — and those factors echo in martial arts dropout rates too.
There aren’t many hard stats on why women quit BJJ specifically, but anecdotal evidence, surveys, and forum chatter tell a consistent story: injuries, time constraints, toxic culture, and lack of support top the list.
This Isn’t Just BJJ — It’s a Martial Arts-Wide Challenge
While I’m focusing on Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, since it is the main martial art I practice now, the reality is these issues affect women across all martial arts — whether it’s karate, taekwondo, judo, muay thai, or any other style. The combination of physical injuries, male-dominated training spaces, and cultural barriers is a common thread that can drive women away.
The good news is that the solutions are similar across disciplines: fostering respect, creating safe and inclusive spaces, offering women-specific programs, and mentoring. When martial arts gyms commit to these changes, everyone benefits.
How Gyms Can Step Up and Keep Women on the Mats
The good news? This isn’t a lost cause. Gyms can do a lot to make martial arts more welcoming for women — and everyone benefits.
- Create an inclusive culture. Call out bad behavior, foster respect, and make it clear harassment won’t be tolerated.
- Offer women-only classes or open discussions. Safe spaces build confidence and community.
- Mentorship programs. Pair new female practitioners with experienced women to guide and encourage them.
- Be mindful about training partners. Avoid pairing women with partners so mismatched that they’re scared before the first grip.
Final Thoughts
Women don’t quit martial arts because they’re not tough enough. They quit because the sport sometimes asks more than it gives back — especially in environments that don’t acknowledge their specific challenges.
If we want more women sticking around and thriving on the mats, it’s on us — instructors, gym owners, and teammates — to listen, adapt, and create spaces where everyone feels respected and empowered.
Every roll should build trust, every tap should build respect. If women leave because we failed at both, then maybe the real fight was never on the mats — but in how we treat each other off them.
Having posted previously about women’s issues in the martial arts, I know I will receive some provincial, small-minded and hateful comments, and to that I say: “You don’t win friends with salad!”
If you’re a woman who’s trained martial arts, or a coach wanting to improve gym culture, I’d love to hear your thoughts. Drop a comment or reach out — this conversation matters.
The Martial Arts Muse 